Theology
by Sidekickwannabe
Summary: A senshi questions her place in the universe and the teachings of Serenity..


Theology  
  
Author Notes: If you are in any way offended by the idea of questioning religion and god, this fic isn't for you. This is merely my answer to a question of mine that asked "How do the Senshi deal with god and religion when they have Serenity and their destinies laid out before them?" This isn't a negative fic, you'll see in the end what happens. I will accept flames and/ or criticism since I know it's bound to happen. You have been warned..  
  
"Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will feel no fear, for thou art with me.."  
  
The minister's voice grew distance as my thoughts grew louder. The man had no idea that what he was saying was lost. She wasn't a believer. She didn't believe in god or any higher power, just in the goodness of people. Not like her parents, not like most of her friends, not like me. Not like almost anyone here to say goodbye.   
  
Minako just didn't believe. And you know, I understood. I knew why she felt like that. Because I'd asked myself the same questions she had, though without the same results. If I was Sailor Mars and I already knew my path, already knew my destiny, what good would god or religion have in my life? So far the closest thing to god I'd ever seen was Queen Serenity. She had decided things for us. It was her we served daily, her vision of the way things should be. God had no part in what we were told to believe.  
  
Pluto was our prophet, our Jesus, our demi-god. The one who watched over us for eternity, who guided us in the ways of Serenity. We had no choice but to take her advice, to listen to something we weren't really completely sure of. After all, she and Serenity had shown us what was in store for ourselves. We were, in a way, our own little cult.   
  
When Luna told me that I was Sailor Mars, I had accepted it. I accepted what she had to say and a new way of life and went on about my business, never thinking twice about how my destiny might have contradicted my belief in Shinto. How, in a strange way, I had changed my views to fit them to what it was Serenity believed.  
  
Only Minako refused to believe.  
  
She was the only one to question. Out of nine senshi, it was only she who put the two together; God vs. Serenity. "How can you believe in one," she would ask me, "and still believe in the other?" I never knew what to tell her.   
  
And then for about six months, Minako went through a very religious period. She went to church, synagoues, to anything that represented places of worship. She studied the working of the bible and other holy texts. And then, Minako went to Artemis and Luna, then to Pluto herself. She tried to find answers.  
  
Then she came to me. With an odd sense of finality, she smiled as though she had unlocked the secrets of the universe.  
  
"Well," I asked her, "what have you decided?"  
  
"None of it makes sense, " she responded, still smiling. "Not a bit of it. Not the bible, not what Artemis said, nothing. It basically comes down to this, Rei. Belief in god or belief in Serenity, none of it matters. We all have some part of us that desires for the knowledge that we have more to do on this planet, our lives, than to just live, that we're part of some great scheme. And that we're so scared to think we won't just stop living. When in reality, no one knows. Ami had it right when she said that the future is something you build for yourself. God might have an influence on your decisions but ultimately, you decide for yourself the kind of life you want to live."  
  
Then I asked her about Serenity.  
  
"That was the hardest part. How to figure all this stuff out and still serve Usagi. And I figured that Serenity's message is the same as god's. In everyday life people have an unwritten code of behavior. You know, don't kill, treat others like you want to be treated, stuff like that. Serenity just personifies that. I can serve Usagi without having to worry about contradiction my beliefs. I serve Usagi and her family line because, well because I want to. Because I genuinely care about her and love what I get to do. Living makes me happy..."  
  
"Living makes me happy.." That was Minako. That's how she lived and that's how she died. Serving Usagi. Doing what made her happiest. Without guilt, without reservations, without God.   
  
I turn to Minako's parents, look at them and wonder why she never told them what she told me. Maybe, I figured, it was better for them not to know. She wouldn't have been happy knowing they were worried for her. Letting them think she believed gave her peace of mind.  
  
Sometimes I ask myself if I would have had the guts, or the time, to try to completely sort things out for myself. And then I realize that I'm happy with the way things are. I still practice Shinto and still serve Serenity. There's a peaceful balance to my life.  
  
But Minako..well Minako wouldn't be Minako if she didn't do things a little differently. And she wouldn't have been happy just accepting things. Minako didn't believe and I respect her for that..  
  
The End  
  
AN: I'm Minako. I questioned things that I had been taught since birth and discovered for myself a belief system that I'm comfortable with. I figure that is the best way to do things. Not to take what you're told as truth and to come up with your own ideals and beliefs.   
And see? It turned out very positive. I didn't trash any side of the theology debaters. Rei doesn't agree but she was open minded enough to accept Minako's conclusions.   
  
Albert Einstein once said:  
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity."   
  
  
Duchess ^_~ 


End file.
